The Science of Deliberate Creation
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My Top 5 Law of Attraction Tips that I Used to Completely Change My Life
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If you watched my recent introduction on my
Youtube Channel, you probably heard the
short version of how I went from Maid-to-Doctor.
If you didn’t see it, you can watch it on this page to
get a better understanding of who I am and why
I’m so passionate about this information.
I receive tons of emails and comments asking me if this “stuff” really works. I simply wouldn’t be such a strong advocate of it if I hadn’t successfully applied it to my own life. The law of attraction is a lifestyle; it’s not something that you partially engage in from time to time. You really can’t escape it, so it only makes sense to use it in your favor.
I didn’t talk extensively about my early life in the video mentioned above, but it was very instrumental to the path I’m on. In the first version of my book “Self-Maid,” I gave a very detailed account of my childhood. What I realized through doing so was that it caused shame and hurt to some people in my life…mainly my mother. It was not my intent to cause harm to others, so I very quickly pulled that publication and republished the basic knowledge that I felt was important. (It was my first attempt at writing a book, and I’ll admit it was a bit “wordy.” I learn as I go.)
Still, I do feel it’s valuable for some to understand that my life was far from perfect. My mother did a fantastic job raising three children, and this is why I still say I had a great upbringing. She instilled values and morals in myself and my siblings; she taught us to take action and persevere in life, and for that I am eternally grateful. However, by the time my thirteenth birthday came upon me, I had endured many forms of abuse from other family members.
By the hands of those I trusted, I witnessed and encountered things that no child should have to see or experience. Because I had little-to-no self-esteem, I was a bit of a plain child without a lot of friends. In fact, I was picked on quite often during my middle school years. The confusion within myself turned into defiance, and I became a high school dropout and homeless by the age of seventeen. I had lashed at my mother and blamed her for the things that happened, and my father was in no position to help me. At nineteen, my son Lee was born and I was an instant single mother (although I married a few years later). By my early twenties, I was intimately familiar with my inner critic and became flooded with panic attacks. I was incapable of holding a “real” job and even confined myself to the limitations of my home for many months. The whole world materialized as scary to me, and it was the lowest I had ever felt.
Through some research, I found a gentleman on the internet that coached me over the phone with NLP (neurolinguistics programming) techniques. This completely changed my life! It was then that I decided I would help others if I were able to overcome my downward spiral of inner conflict. As I gained some confidence about myself, I decided to go back into the working world. Because I had few skills, I began cleaning houses for money. It wasn’t luxurious, but it didn’t bother me.
Still, I had much bigger goals. I began studying and reading as much as I could. My mind had made such a shift during my therapy that I wanted to explore its capacity even further. What I was discovering was that through the power of the mind, any obstacle could be overcome. Because I had aroused my inner voice, it became apparent that my marriage at the time wasn’t working. We divorced, and my new label became maid and single mother of two growing boys. I wanted more for them and myself, so I put myself through school during this time. Eventually, I earned my Ph.D. in Philosophy with a practitioner’s license as a holistic life coach and counselor.
So, why would I tell a whole lot of people that I don’t know personal things that are still somewhat difficult for me to dredge up? Because I want to show others that they can change their life no matter what their background or current circumstances have prescribed as their reality! I was at what I would’ve considered the bottom of the barrel. I prayed that I would somehow be taken out of misery on many occasions, although I would have never taken it upon myself to do so. I literally wanted to die, and thought the people around me would be better off for it.
A small shift changed all of that. The pain became so unbearable that I was determined to push back against it. And now I believe that I was given those challenges for a greater purpose. I’m so grateful to be able to live my passion and change people’s lives for the better, and it’s the best feeling in the world! (Remember a few paragraphs ago when I said it was the “lowest I’d ever felt?” That's how much my life has changed!)
Many people ask me to sum up my best advice for those who want to change the reality of their existence. Following are my top five law of attraction tips (that I personally use in my own life) to begin making instant shifts towards the life you want to live!
1. Be on Your Own Side!
Have you ever unintentionally sabotaged your own chances for success? Without understanding the reasons, maybe you’ve shown up late for an important appointment. Or perhaps you beat yourself up when things don’t work out the way you hoped they would. Maybe you knew there was an action you needed to take to help you reach your goal, but you just couldn’t get the motivation to follow through. All of these are examples of self-defeating beliefs and self-defeating behavior. And I’ve personally done this on many occasions in my ‘past’ life.
We often criticize ourselves and our own efforts more than anyone else would. Would you tell a child that their artwork just wasn’t good enough? Or, berate a friend for making a cake that didn’t look quite perfect? What if your artwork or cake wasn’t flawless in your eyes? Would you criticize it? Would you have a talk with yourself about how you could’ve done better?
Research shows that focusing on your self-defeating beliefs is the first step to changing them. Wait, what? The law of attraction says DO NOT do this! But, this is true. You must acknowledge these beliefs and behaviors, begin to dismantle them and build new beliefs in their place. You may currently feel that you don’t deserve to live a better life, but once you start to question why you feel this way, you can start to break down the old paradigms that block your success. Ask yourself what you feel you are worthy of having. If it’s anything less than EVERYTHING, challenge it. I ask myself what I feel worthy of all the time, and because I now choose to ‘be on my own side,’ everything is ALWAYS the answer.
Take the time to congratulate yourself, give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done, look in the mirror and tell yourself how great you look today, extend compassion and understanding to yourself, become aware of how worthy you are, tell yourself that you love YOU, be grateful for your gift of life, tell yourself that you ARE ENOUGH and realize that you ALREADY ARE perfection, no matter what happens. Because our life is an outer reflection of our inner workings, a great place to start is with how you feel about YOU. When you begin to see all of the wonderful qualities you have, and treat yourself accordingly, the outside world will do the same! And when this happens, it’s amazing how many opportunities and experiences will just show up!
2. Identify Your Dominate Point of Observation (and change it if you need to).
What do you focus on most? The current parts of your physical reality that you don’t like? Or, the reality you want to have? If you were to spend equal time observing both, they would effectively cancel each other out and leave you with a reality that is in-between the two. However, it can sometimes be difficult to avoid what is in “our face.” This is the tricky part of the law of attraction. What is unwanted must be denied, while what is wanted must become the dominate point of focus. This was something I personally had to learn to take control of, and it takes a little practice, but it was well worth it!
When we’re stuck in observation mode, we’re recreating the same reality over and over. But, by going into “creation mode,” we can ignore the parts of reality we don’t like and replace them with the things we do like. Think of it like this: There are two notes playing on a piano simultaneously; one of those appears to be louder than the other one, and that’s the one that you’re going to hear. But, you can consciously choose to disregard what appears to be the louder note while you focus on the other note, and you will eventually begin to hear that note instead, as the other fades into the background.
It’s the same with reality. Our mind will always give back to us what we focus on. If we’re constantly observing the same things, over and over, that’s what we’ll keep living. But, if you consciously choose a new, DOMINANT stream of information for your mind to work with, you go into the “creation mode” already mentioned. It can take some practice to become good at “pretending” your life into being, but that’s exactly what it takes.
Make the time each day to imagine and play in the realms of your mind, and then walk around in your dream as often as you can. The more you practice this, the more experienced you will become. It may seem silly at first, and you may wonder if others will think you belong at the looney farm, but try to move past this and live in your playland. It’s much more fun there anyway!
3. Be Grateful for EVERYTHING You Value.
Gratitude is mentioned often in the law of attraction. But, have you ever wondered why it’s so important? THIS: Gratitude is the EMOTIONAL SIGNATURE (Vibrational Frequency) that something has ALREADY taken place. When we are grateful for what we have, and also grateful for the things we’ve manifested in our “future,” the energy of the Universe understands that these are things that have ALREADY happened. This produces a checklist of “Yes, I like this. I’ll take more please” items.
I always spend the first and last ten minutes of my day being thankful for any and everything. It can sometimes be easy to forget the luxuries that we have and experience daily. Food, clothing, a bed to sleep in, a toothbrush, friends, transportation, a pet, a roof over our head, books, music, sunshine and so on and so on and SO ON. Take the gratitude challenge: Wake up and retire broadcasting all of the things you are currently grateful for, as well as all of the manifestations that are being cooked up for you! Life is one big blessing if we choose to see it that way! As mentioned in the prior tip, we will always get what our focus is on.
4. Meditate and/or Visualize into Sleep.
If I had to choose one tip that has completely changed my life, this is it! (Ok, the next tip is HUGE too.) I spend every night visualizing what I want most, while using guided meditation, until I fall asleep. I truly believe this has created more miracles in my life than anything else. Generally, I will replay the same scenario over and over, night after night, until it comes into fruition.
The most important rule to remember during visualization is to incorporate feeling. This goes for both emotional feeling states and sensory feeling states. I make a point to create a story that puts a smile on my face as I imagine it unfolding. I become so excited by what is happening that I can barely contain it. I feel the gait of my walk as I move through the scene, and how my shoes or feet feel on the ground beneath me. I visualize all of the features of my scene in great, vivid detail. I run my hands across objects and experience their texture against my skin. I smell the air and intently listen to the sounds around me. I even place a gourmet meal in most of these scenes so that I can integrate the taste of food that I love.
These stories become so real to my mind that I never doubt that they’ve happened. Once this takes place, the subconscious mind will recognize a void and go to work to fill it. In other words, if an event produces heightened senses, then heightened senses will produce an event. This is known as the law of reversibility. For example, friction can produce heat; therefore, heat can produce friction. And, this is a fact. More so, a physical fact can produce a psychological state; therefore, a psychological state can produce a physical fact. And this is why visualization, coupled with intense feeling states, will manifest results with such great accuracy.
Create a sensory rich experience that you visualize each night as you fall asleep. Stick with it until you begin to see a shift in the direction of your manifestation. Some people are more skilled at visualization than others, so be patient with yourself (my first undeniable, solid manifestation took me 2 years of nightly visualization). Make sure you have staying power and believe in your abilities, and it will happen!
5. Get Happy!
Sounds cliché, right? If you can find ways to be happy in every moment, no matter what is happening, you’re passing the test. What test? The test of life. Isn’t that the goal? Isn’t that why we want all of the “stuff” and experiences anyway? So we can be happy? I’ll admit, it takes practice. But, this is what life is all about – at least to me!
What’s the number one rule you hear about the law of attraction? Like attracts like. If you’re happy, you’ll attract more things to be happy about. But, even more so than that, if you’re happy, you’re embodying what you’re already seeking! Happiness. When we’re happy, we don’t “want” anything to be happy for. And, since we know from scientific breakthroughs in quantum physics that "like attracts like," if we are always in a state of wanting, we will just create more wanting.
Actively look for things that make you happy. If you change the attitude of your mind, you will change the aspects of your life. When we can find happiness with what we currently have and experience, and see the things in our “future” as things that can simply ADD to our happiness (instead of making us happy), we begin to fall into the frequency that attracts so many wonderful things! Even if you don't feel happy, smile. The physical act of smiling tricks your brain into thinking you are in a good mood, and then it will find ways to validate that!
These five tips have drastically changed my life in such positive ways. I live a law of attraction lifestyle every single day. From the moment I wake up, until I drift off to sleep, I strive to consciously observe every mental and physical action that I take. If something doesn’t work, I don’t beat myself up. (And, you shouldn’t either.) I think of it all as practice; it’s trial and error. There are not mistakes, only learning.
If you are a subscriber of my channel, I greatly appreciate your support! If you haven’t subscribed yet, please do! Either way, I hope these tips add more value to your life, and I aim to provide more things that you find useful to your law of attraction lifestyle in the days to come! For some really powerful manifestation tips and tricks, please visit my website at www.YouniverseTribe.com
Jessica Connor, Ph.D.